Thursday, September 27, 2007

Lighten Up...

Lately I've been thinking that I'm a little uptight. Now, those of who know me well are probably thinking, 'hello, you're just realizing this now...' But anyway, I really think that my uptightness is robbing me of some simple joys of motherhood. I'm a routine-loving planner, which doesn't necessarrily jive with having an infant. Judah does better on a schedule which is also a motivation for that part of my personality to thrive. But, as we all know, children have a mind of their own. Judah has been teething for about 2 months it seems, so everything is negotiable at this point. Not sleeping through the night anymore, not liking to take a nap unless he parks it on mama's chest, following me around the house whining like a little puppy dog, deciding every other day that he wants to wean himself. All of these new things challenge me every day and bring to light the fact that my flesh is alive and active. I've been feeling lately that I need to make a choice in those very short seconds before the monster inside me responds; to either resond in love or in frustration. The old idea of turning lemons into lemonaide keeps running through my head and challenges me to change my perspective, to pray for love, and to be present in every moment that I have with my son. I don't want you to get the feeling that Judah is a naughty boy, because it isn't true, his mother just has issues. With that said, here is how I would like to look at things...

Great, you want to nap on me... I'd love to snuggle with you for an hour.
SO you're bored with all your 2 billion toys and you want to be in my shadow... I'd love to stop what I'm doing and play with you.
I see that you've suddenly decided that your crib doesn't provide the most comfortable sleeping arrangement... I would love to snuggle you in bed with me even if you punch me in the face every hour.
So spitting food in my face and throwing your spoon seems like a good way to communicate that peas are yucky... so I'll laugh and enjoy you being you because secretly I hate peas too.
All this to say that I don't want to look back in 10 years and have memories of things that I wish I had done, or the mom I wish I had been. This stage in his life is going to fly by and I want to know that I lived it to the fullest, enjoyed Judah as much as I could, and loved him with my life. I don't want to look back at his babyhood and just think, wow that was hard, but I want to say out of the truest place in my heart that it was amazing and touching and so beautiful to watch my son grow into the man he will be. I love being Judah's mom, for real!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Carlsbad with the Aicklen's

Judah and Avery in the Aicklen-mobile.

Big smile! His hair is crusted with a gallon of sunscreen.

Judah rolled over in the sand, which took 3 weeks to completely vacate his ear.

Beach siesta after his first day playing in the sand and ocean.

Avery and Grandma Kim.

Crazy September

Judah's first day at the pool. He liked it ok until daddy dunked him...

Natalie and Judah at our hotel in Denver

My Pawpaw (no, not Papa) was enthralled with our little guy. It was so sweet to see what a little light Judah was to him.

Yes, that is a real lion, and no, it's not alive. Judah didn't mind though, he loves kitties.

Durango gave Judah lots of kisses. Judah followed her around the whole time we were at my grandparents.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Vacation in Denver

We've been in Denver on vacation for about a week now and let me tell you, it has been an interesting one. Joey has a trade show in Denver that started on Wednesday so we had about 4 days in the city before work. Several interesting things have transpired.
Judah decided the week before we left that he wasn't into sleeping through the night anymore and instead preferred to use his nightimes screaming for no apparent reason. Teething? Separation anxiety? I have no idea, but it carried into our vacation, so I was about as sleep deprived the first 3 days of vacation as I was when Judah was a newborn. The ironic thing is that we were staying with some good friends in Denver, 2 separate couples, both expecting their first children. I just have to chalk it up to God wanting to teach us all a little something, but I was a blubbering mess. Those of you who know me at home haven't seen that side of me since I got past the baby blues, but it was as if it was happening all over again. So needless to say, I think I scared them both a little bit, or at least spurred on some interesting conversations. Sorry Nate and Natalie, Dave and Lana! Judah was a charmer as usual so I probably looked like a crazy lady.
We then took off to Windsor, CO where Joey dropped me off at my grandparents' home. We were there for about 2 hours when my grandma came in a got my grandpa. She had begun hemoraging and he rushed her off to the ER. That was the last time I saw Mimi for this trip. She spent the rest of the week in the hospital undergoing awful tests and a surgery to remove half of her colon... fun. I had a great time keeping my Papa company. He's a WWII vet and I was able to ask him tons of questions about that, which absolutely fascinates me. Papa and Judah were great buds by the time we left and I cried as we drove away. Every time we come out here I never know if I'll see them again. I know it sounds morbid, but I love them so much and it just kills me that they won't be able to get to know their only great-grandson because of how far away we live. How special though that they have at least met him.
We have 2 more nights here and will be seeing one of Joey's college buddies and his old pastor. I'm looking forward to coming home, but thankful that we were out here to support my family during a difficult time and the time spent with friends has been great. We will have pictures to follow.