Long Time...

I think the threat of Jamie Hill has scared me into submission. We are alive and well, I'm just not feeling particularly bloggy lately. As most of you know, we are expecting our second baby in December, and couldn't be more thrilled. We have also recently moved to Arroyo Grande, which has been such and amazing blessing. I'm feeling better, pregnancy-wise, but am usually exhausted by our little man. Judah has been a busy boy, exploring his new house, big back yard and new neighborhood with 3 parks within a 10 minute walk.  Motherhood right now makes me feel kind of manic. I could not be more in love with my son than I am right now, but new challenges in this toddler stage have definitely caught me off guard. I'm really trying to center my life on prayer and more reliance on the Lord every day for his sufficiency.  Especially with the daunting task of raising another child, I'm feeling waves of insufficiency, excitement, apprehension, and just really quite overwhelmed. But one thing I do know and am trying live out is that HIS grace is sufficient for me. I have to come to the well and drink and be filled with his Spirit, every day, every hour. I'm sure any parent can truly testify that this is the key to our joy, our sanity and our success. The more time that passes the more I am convinced that I can not love as a wife, a mother or a friend on my own strength, but it must be the overflow of what I have received from the Lord.  I can't rely on others for my happiness, this includes Judah, Joey, my family and my dear friends. What an incredible burden to put on our loved ones when they can bring us such joy at times, yet when the inevitable let downs come our joy is stolen. Christ came to make our joy complete, Joey didn't come for that purpose and neither did Judah.  

Sorry for the random musings, but that's what's spinning around in my head and in my heart. I'm starting to realize though that when the Lord is doing things in my heart, no matter how painful, I am filled with an immeasurable amount of hope and peace that Christ will truly bring about transformation if I merely invite to him to rule and reign in my life.